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Tag Archives: Humour

Just for Fun

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I don’t know where this is, or who took the photo, but someone’s got a great sense of humour!

Nothing Happened

The Art of Make-Up

This device from 1930, invented by Max Factor, helps correct the application of make-up.

I shall merely note that it’s only this complicated when a male scientist attempts it…

This device from 1930, invented by Max Factor, helps correct the application of make-up

If World War I were a Bar Fight

I don’t know who came up with this originally, but it’s brilliant! I made several additions here and there, but otherwise it’s someone else’s work – if anyone knows who originally came up with this analogy, please let me know so that I can give credit where credit is due!

If World War I were a Bar Fight

funny-If World War One Were a Bar Fight

Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria’s pint.

Austria demands Serbia buy it a whole new suit because of the new beer stains on its trouser leg.

Germany expresses its support of Austria’s point of view.

Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.

Serbia points out that it can’t afford a whole new suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria’s trousers.

Russia and Serbia look at Austria.

Austria asks Serbia who they’re looking at.

Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone.

Austria inquires as to whose army will help Russia make them do so.

Germany appeals to Britain that France has been eyeing Britain, and that it’s unwise for Britain not to intervene.

Britain replies that France can look at whoever it wants to, and that Britain has been watching Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it?

Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action anymore.

Britain and France ask Germany whether it’s looking at Belgium.

Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper.  When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone.

Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium and Luxembourg, who had been minding their own business at the end of the bar.

France and Britain punch Germany; Austria punches Bosnia and Herzegovina (which Russia and Serbia took personally); Germany punches Britain and France with one fist and Russia with the other.

Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over.

Japan calls from the other side of the room that it’s on Britain’s side, but stays there.

Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria.

Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back.  There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it.

France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting.  Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change.

Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway.  Italy raises both fists in the air and runs around the room chanting.

America waits until Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a bar stool and pretends it won the fight all by itself.

By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered.  Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany’s fault.  While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.

Everyone went home, leaving Germany to pout on the floor planning on how to get even.

Ten Great Winston Churchill Quotes

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Winston ChurchillWinston Churchill was a great statesman, orator, and had a caustic wit.  Here are ten great quotes:

 

“When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.”

“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”

“History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.”

“Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.”

“Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.”

“Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.”

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”

“For myself I am an optimist – it does not seem to be much use to be anything else.”

“An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.”

“A lady came up to me one day and said ‘Sir! You are drunk’, to which I replied ‘I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.”

 

 

Pseudo-Retro Vintage Ads

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I wonder what people will believe in a few hundred years?  It’s unwise to believe everything you see and hear on the web, and even “reputed” sources such as newspapers have been duped more times than they’ll ever admit.  With Photoshop and similar programs at the fingertips of every bored teenager and adult in the western world, we have to take what we see and hear with a healthy pinch of salt and a huge dose of discernment.  Having said that, here are a few fun pseudo-retro ads … they remind me a bit of the old cartoon, “The Jetsons”.

Vintage Facebook Ad Vintage Skype Ad Vintage YouTube Ad

 

 

On Discoveries

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Eureka“The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not ‘Eureka (I’ve found it)’, but ‘that’s funny…’.”

Isaac Asimov

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